Oh LAWD. I’m in a deep, musk smelling pit of despair. What do you do when you’ve seen your film so many times that you’re unable to see whether it is good or bad, which changes that could improve it, and what works and what doesn’t?
While waiting for our final Korsakow film to finish snuing, I went down to the editing suites to see if I could make our film a little more attractive to look at. Based on the feedback we have gotten so far, I think it’s already pretty good; however, after seeing the amazing progress that other groups have made, I’m starting to get nervous about how our film will look in comparison to the others.
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE SUNNIVA!
I’ve been trying to teach myself how to avoid comparison to others; this applies to every aspect of my life, in film, assignments, popularity, sport, appearance etc. My mother always told me that nothing good comes out of this: I can only be myself, do my own things, and that is good enough. While I assume this is what all mothers are told to tell their kids as soon as the baby pops out at the hospital (or in the elevator for that matter), there is definitely some truth in it; if I constantly compare my things to what others make, how can I ever make something original and daring? And how can I ever imagine a career in such a competitive field if I don’t have faith in my own skills and work?
On the other hand, comparison can be extremely useful. It brings about ideas, and most importantly, it pushes you to improve something you had settled with because it was just about “good enough”. When I saw what some of the other students had managed to do in the editing suites I were blown away, it was absolutely shocking to see how good some of the films looked.
Has our film really changed that much since we did our first rough cut? Well of course it has. What I’m wondering is whether we’ve experimented enough, tried enough options to know that what we’ve settled for is actually the best option.
We have lowered the saturation, darkened the blacks and mids (and at instances we’ve lightened the highlights even further), added 8-point garbage matte on the clips, and it does look good. However, comparative demons are lurking in the back of my head; should we have desaturated the entire film completely, and maybe having red as the only visible colour? Did we try all the different structures to tell the story the best way?
Luckily there are still some days left where we can tighten it up and polish it even more. I really want to be able to feel confident when we show it at the screening, knowing that no matter what the reception is, I’ll be happy with the result and the process.